A profound statement once said to me by a friend. His intent was to let me know that I should live a little despite being a dad.
Like most of the labels we carry, husband, boyfriend, friend, brother or job title, being a dad can easily take over your identity. It’s very noble to take your duty as a dad seriously but you must also remember and budget for who you were before the title. If you’re not careful you can lose yourself in the responsibilities and damage your other relationships especially the relationship with your partner. The most important relationship that’s at stake is the relationship with yourself.
It’s important to have a me time budget.
A me time budget can be a gym membership, a weekly haircut, a hobby you like, shopping if that’s your thing or even buying the latest video game. All that matters is it’s money set aside for guilt free spending despite your financial goals and it gets you in the right headspace.
Generally as men we don’t communicate our emotions very well. Even if we feel like life is stressful, money is tight, the boss is on our case, the kids won’t listen, the Mrs is nagging we’ll choose to be silent or act out of character.
In all honesty it’s a cry out for help communicated in the wrong way. A me time budget can be the breathing space away from the responsibilities to allow that communication to come out in the right headspace.
Budget to build stronger relationships.
Apart from a me time budget you should also intentionally set a budget to spend time with your partner away from the kids. If it’s affordable book a babysitter for the evening and enjoy each others company doing whatever you like. An even better idea is you both take the day off midweek, drop the kids to school (book afterschool club) and eat out for breakfast and lunch. This is so crucial especially when both parents work full-time and after work you only focus on the kids. Remember your partner is the reason you became a dad.
Yes if you have debt to pay off or want to hit a financial goal you need to be on a strict budget.
A quick drink with a friend you haven’t seen in months can be the stress relief you need to keep going. Not only is this good for you but also it benefits others in the process. Budgeting to build stronger relationships with family or friends doesn’t mean you have break the bank. Be mindful, open and honest about how much you can really afford.
Budget to live a little, your a dad not dead.
This statement can be taken in so many ways but we shouldn’t view it as yolo ( you only live once ) enjoy every penny you make despite being a parent. It’s a reminder to use your money on self-care and maintain relationships to keep your sanity while juggling the joyful pressures of being a parent.
Finally, money is a tool to be used and managed, not the goal.
Freedom is the goal. In the pursuit of success, it’s easy to get caught up in the chase for wealth. But let’s not forget the bigger picture we ought to use this tool to enhance our relationships and wellbeing along the journey to financial success.
